"I'm your hands and feet hidden behind this fraile human disguise... i want to love just like you loved, wanna give just like you gave, i wanna reach out with YOUR hands...b/c ONLY YOU can SAVE." (lyrics i heard this am...not sure who sings it...if you know..post in comments :))
I just want to be used by Him...for Him. Thats it. I mean, I desire to be a partner, friend, lover to my husband... i desire to be an out of this world mother to my kids. But...more than ANYTHING... I really just want more of Him. I know some of you may not get it. I guess I feel like...well, I know.. if my life is truely comitted to my Father...HE will work all the other stuff out. He will, because His word says it, "COmmit your way unto the Lord, and He SHALL direct your path".. not maybe...HE SHALL.... and sorry mommys out there... it doesn't say "Commit your life to your family/children". He says to commit our lives to Him. He also says He will give us the desires of our hearts....so those desires I spoke of... He will FULFILL...and that makes me feel better. I dont have to work at being the perfect wife, or not making any mistakes with my kids. He works ALL things out for my good. ALL. For me...it kinda takes the pressure off. I remember crying so hard when I found out Kylee was a girl. By this time, we had 3 boys...and thats what I knew. But a girl?? really God? I was so afraid I would mess her up... I wouldnt have what it took to be a girl mommy. It all...everything really comes down to ... do you trust God? With every detail of your life. I remember picking myself up out of the bathroom floor (really, it was quite ugly) and just knowing that He knew better than me what I can handle and where my strengths lie. He loves me. I trust His love for me. I trust Him. If I live my life to please HIM... first, I know He will make me the Proverbs 31 wife my husband deserves. If I align my life with Jesus... HE WILL help me train my children up in HIS ways, so that when they grow up they will also, align their lives with Jesus. My precious Father in heaven has blessed me so far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I just want everyone to feel what I feel and to experience God's grace and mercy and LOVE and the FREEDOM found when you CHAIN yourself to His side. TO give like He gave...to love....the UNloveable... to reach out like He did to the lost. The thief, the liar, the addict, the adluter, the _____ you fill in the blank... THE LOST. Some, good ppl... just lost and lied to by satan. Being good.... doesn't get you into heaven. You can be 'good' and still be lost and headed to the pit of hell. You have to know Him as your Savior. You have to.
If you are reading this today and you dont know Jesus, please let me know. I would love to pray with you and join with you as you begin your new life in Christ....thats what you get. A new life. Everything old passes away and you become a NEW creation in Christ.
If you already know Jesus... are you truely married to HIM first? Do you trust Him with EVERY area of your life? Are you fullfilling the call He has on your life? (oh, yes... you have one... if you know Him.. you have a call!!)
You are loved... COMMIT your way to Him...and take some of the pressure of this world OFF of your shoulders!! LIVE to please HIM. LIVE everyday to be USED by HIM.
Love, j.
Oh, heres a recent pic...taken July 3....Max's birthday.
